The Power of Two

Sharing goals, priorities and dreams with your significant other is not only a great way to build strength in your relationship but it’s also a way to achieve a personal goal you’ve set for yourself. The power of two literally translates to strength in numbers and can be utilized not only in math problems but as an activity for couples to join together and achieve their goals.

We all keep a mental bucket list in our heads of things we want to accomplish in life. These goals can vary in intensity like wanting to go skydiving, traveling to a different continent, dedicating time to write a novel or even simpler ideas like losing weight, keeping track of your finances, setting time aside during the day for yourself and much more. Unfortunately the responsibilities and stresses of life tend to get in the way of our bucket lists and force those dreams to the back of our minds behind energy draining things like work and finances. This is where the power of two can really make a difference.

Make a List:

If you start to notice that your dreams are getting pushed to the back burner, sit down with your partner in crime and simply make a list of the things you both want to accomplish.

• Understand your spouse’s list: One of the great things about sharing your bucket list with your spouse is that you’ll feel completely comfortable being honest about what you want. Once you’ve read what your significant other wants to achieve and fully understand how important it is to them, find small and big ways to encourage and motivate them towards that goal. For example, if you spouse’s dream is to go to Italy, have Italian themed dinner nights at home while you save up for that trip. Make Italian food, cover the kitchen in printed out Italian paintings and play Italian music to remind them of their dream, while at the same time, letting them know that you want them to follow that dream.
• Find similar dreams on the list: Once you’ve both created your lists, compare and contrast them to see which goals you can accomplish together. This activity will not only motivate both of you to accomplish these goals but finding new exciting things out about your partner will ignite a new spark that you never had before and bring you even closer together.
• Plan of action: Making a list is the first step to taking action and a bucket list is no different. Once you’ve both created your own bucket list, understand each other’s dreams and discover the goals that are similar, make a new combined list and write down ways to complete these goals. If you both want to learn a new creative skill choose that skill together. If you decide on painting then pick a day of the week to go to the art store and buy supplies. The next date night you have go to a museum and learn about artists and different styles to bring home and try for yourself. Paint together and use encouragement and constructive criticism so you can both progress in that skill.

Reminders and Rewards:

When the new year comes about half of Americans make a resolution to be better than they were last year in either their mental or physical health. By the third week more than half of those people have already abandoned those resolutions. One of the main reasons this occurs is because these people tried to change their habits all on their own. Any article you read with the title “How to stick with your resolution” will almost always encourage you to find a buddy because they are an outside source of motivation. Having someone you love as a constant motivator who also loves you back, is an even bigger plus.

• Reminders: This works best if you live with your spouse because you can remind each other every morning and every night of your goals while also holding each other accountable for them. You can also use reminders as a way to encourage one another not to quit on their dreams. One way to do this is by posting sticky notes around the house. If your spouse’s goal is to lose weight and they begin to feel discouraged, leave notes on their weights or workout bag that say, “You’re so strong and you’re doing great, keep going!” Reminding your significant other of how hard they’re working and how proud you are of them for working to achieve their goals will motivate them to keep going.
• Rewards: Rewards can either work as motivation tool or in celebration of attaining a goal. Little rewards like flowers or making their favorite food for dinner for going a step further in achieving their goals will motivate them to keep making that progress. For example, if your spouse’s goal is to spend more time with their friends, leave something for them for when they get home or before they leave to show your support. A reward for a celebration can be a lavish date night or an unexpected present to show how proud and excited you are for them.
• Encourage: If you and your partner have matching dreams, you have double the reason to motivate each other to see this dream through. Encouragement is the best way to do this and a great way to show each other that you care.

Friendly Competition:

If you’re someone that enjoys a good challenge, a friendly competition between you and your partner might be the best way to go to achieve your dreams. After deciding which goal on your shared bucket list you both want to achieve first, make a friendly wager. For example, if you both want to save money for a trip make a bet on who will save more money within the first month and whoever loses has to do the dishes, or make dinner for the next week straight. The sweet badgering and game talk will keep things light and fun in the relationship and make each of you work that much harder so you aren’t the one who has to do the dishes. However, don’t be a sore loser and show that you’re proud of your significant other for doing their best by maybe taking on the dishes for one night that week.

Make relationship goals apart of the bucket list:

Not only should you and your partner achieve the life goals you’ve always dreamt of, but you and your spouse should also add relationship milestones to that list. Now that you as a couple are progressing towards making significant changes in your lives, use this time as an opportunity to make your relationship change for the better also. It could be as simple as putting your phone away when you’re eating dinner together or as serious as working on communication or trust issues. Either way, there should be at least one goal on your joined bucket list that is dedicated to improving the inner workings of your relationship.

Matching dreams with your significant other can be a great shared experience for both of you that will in turn make your relationship stronger. It will build your confidence in one another as well as in yourself. As kids we dream big and feel invincible, but reality hits when you get older along with finances, work, and loads of other responsibilities. The daily grind and everyday routine slowly makes you forget those childhood dreams of adventure but playing games and looking forward to sweet notes and rewards with the one you care strongly about will bring back that happy childhood spirit and energy. Achieving your life goals on your own can be a lonely experience but if you have the power of two on your side not only will you get stronger but your relationship will too.