Ive ignored an integral part of myself. Ive ignored me. Ive ignored my body. Ive never intentionally attempted to end up the way i have, to be confined to my home if im not at work because i never realized how bad ive let things become. To not be able to stand with out hurting, to play with my child, to not be able to ride a bike because your afraid your going to flatten a tire or god forbid fall over and be unable to get back up. To get out of my bed without feeling as if ive ran a triathlon. I dont remember where it started. Maybe it was when i stopped eating meals and started only eating at 1 am when i got off work. Maybe it started when my job became seditary, or maybe it happened when another persons well being became more important than my own. So she could have the best, i began eating the cheapest, the worst. While i whole food shopped for her, to steam and make her babyfood from scratch. I would eat whatever would i could microwave at the end of the day. I hope that when i leave this world i will have corrected the problems i created for myself. #364
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